Thanksgiving come and gone.  Didn't do too bad.  I haven't gone for an official Weigh In since my stepmother passed away, but I am watching it on my scale at home and am doing ok.  I guess maintenance is ok under the circumstances.  I will get back into the routine next Saturday, go to a meeting, take my licks (if I have any coming) and get back in the business of getting rid of some more of this lard. 

I stuffed another turkey yesterday (two on thanksgiving, one yesterday).  I could go into business.  It came out pretty good.  We will have leftovers which is what its all about.  I will have to be very careful here because I can eat me some turkey sandwich!!  One of my favorites with cranberry sauce and "real" mayo.  and lots of salt.  I am gaining weight just thinking about it!!

Well, Thanksgiving has arrived.  Folks might think we don't have much to be thankful for this year, but we are immensely grateful for many, many things.  We lost people that we loved dearly, wonderful parents whose love was unconditional and always supportive.  But I am grateful that we had them to begin with.  While I am hurting over their loss, I can't imagine what life would have been like without them and, I know that the pain is the cost of loving like that.  Its ok.  

We had our traditional turkey stuffing party last night at my parents house.  It was kind of odd without them, but also comforting to do things we have always done as a family.  So two big turkeys went  into the ovens (double oven) around 6 am.  I am making mashed potatoes at my house and will take them over right before its time to eat.  I am also making some asparagus as we never seem to have enough greens on the table.  

I hope that all of you have a wonderful day.  Don't eat too much, but enjoy everything that you eat.  Take a moment to reflect on the things you are grateful for.  You can always find something!!

Holding my own

Good Morning!  Its Monday and I am off for the week.  I always take Mon thru Weds off on Thanksgiving week.  It is traditionally a family time and this year is no different.  We (my brother and sisters along with children, grandchildren, nieces, nephews, etc) will celebrate one last Thanksgiving at my parents home. Then I will also make a turkey with all the fixings here at home so we have leftovers, cause lets face it, thats the only reason we have Thanksgiving anyway is cause we love the leftovers!!

I am doing ok with the weight, all things considered.  Saturday we had a memorial gathering at the parents house in honor of my Stepmom.  My sisters employer catered it for us and, of course, it had to be Mexican food.  And good Mexican food to boot!! Even eating a mazillion mini chimis (fried burritos) I haven't gained anything.  I just don't want to let it get out of hand.  I know that I am in control (or not!) and thats the one thing that is going to keep me on the straight and narrow.  If I do screw it up, I am only hurting me.

Well, What to Say?

Still here, still plugging along.  Weigh In today as up .6 in one week.  Not bad considering the crap I managed to consume this week.  Nachos?  Are you kidding me?  Not one serving, but two?  Puleeze!
And then work group Thanksgiving pot luck with turkey, dressing, potatoes, 3 different kinds of bread, etc, etc, etc.  I did not over eat, I did not get uncomfortable full, but I managed to try a little of everything.  And it was all quite good (I made the scalloped potatoes).   If I can maintain thru Thanksgiving, I will be ok.  We don't make a big Christmas dinner or anything, so not alot to worry about there.  I just have to pace myself.

One big problem is feeding my grief.  Food has always been a "friend", one that brings great solace in times of discomfort, emotional turmoil and stress.  At least I am aware of this and that gives me a little bit of an edge and allows me to, at the very least, question myself when I go to put something in my face.   If I really want something (nachos anyone?) I want to make sure I know why I am eating it.  Unconciously feeding my grief is not good.  Indulging myself because thats what I want at that moment is marginally more acceptable. The first I can get lost in, the second, I have some control over.

Losses and Gains

Well, we lost my wonderful stepmother Thursday morning.  Advanced lung cancer.  It took her quickly and now we must find a way to keep moving forward without our beacon.  We will do it, but it really sucks. 

Oddly, I am now the "matriarch" of the family.  I feel like an old elephant!  I thank God we are all old enough and well established enough in our own lives that we don't really need more than a symbolic leader. 

I also lost another lb. this week, at least on the house scale.  Only one weigh in today and its at 7:30 am.  Not gonna make it.  

Also on Thursday, I was notified I passed the U.S. Customs Brokers Examination and am now eligible to become a Licensed Customs Broker.  This was a grueling test, 80 questions and 4 hours to complete it.  Then wait 7 months to find out if I passed.  Kinda bitter sweet.

Another week has come and gone.  Weigh in was great!  -2 even.  I like it, I like it.  I did good all week, 2 little pieces of Halloween candy, no biggie!  And didn't really miss it.  I don't eat candy unless it's sitting right in front of me, so I just avoid that and its all good.

Still on the Mom care band wagon.  Rotating between her home and mine and lets not forget about the job.  My poor husband is always the one neglected. I know, he's a big boy, but it bothers me. I love him (despite the fact that he's generally a pain in the tukkus).  Went grocery shopping after WI.  I need to work on this plan.  I don't normally eat breakfast on Saturday because of WI, but man, if I am going to the grocery store, I am going to have to make a pit stop.  I buy everything in sight when I am that hungry.  I am still shopping OP, but too much of everything and not thinking about stuff spoiling, etc.  And when I get home, I am ravenous!!  Hubby grilled me a hamburger today (God, I love Arizona!) and it was a great filling lunch and not unreasonable in the points department with that 96% lean beef I have found.  Good Stuff Maynard.

Try this, mix a little sriracha sauce with your mayo (light or otherwise) for sandwiches and burgers.  Nice little kick.  

Losing Loved Ones

Today I post from my stepmoms computer.  Its 10:30 in the morning and she is sleeping.  I have spent the last two nights here as she can no longer be left alone. We are all just kind of waiting for the inevitable. 

My stepmom, Nancy (Mom), and my dad were childhood friends/sweethearts. Mom contracted polio when she was 15 years old and never walked again, paralyzed essentially from the waist down.  She and my father maintained a friendship throughout the years.  I remember going to her family's house when I was a small child and her coming to see my dad and my bio mom when she was in law school.  Yep, she was an attorney.  She has been in my life a very long time. 

After my parents divorced, through a series of twists and turns, we all wound up living with my dad.  My sister, just younger than I, got pregnant shortly after.  Nancy Mom had just purchased a house that was much too big for just her and had signed up with the county to take in unwed mothers.  My dad, of course, knew about this, and being a single male parent who's job kept him on the road alot, he asked Nancy to take her in.  In the course of my sisters pregnancy, my father would go to see her and take Nancy money and over the months, Dad and Nancy rekindled their relationship. 

My sister's child was born in December and was placed for adoption.  Within a few months, my father asked Nancy to marry him and she said yes.  In October of 1973, this wonderful, exceptionally intelligent woman, married this really messed up man with 5 wild kids.  We have all been madly in love ever since. 

My father passed away in April, 2 days before my birthday, and we have been losing Mom by the inch since.  Her strength and desire to go on fade daily.  It takes alot of effort to lift oneself bodily out of a wheelchair and into a bed using only your arms.  When you have lost what little strength you have and every breath is a chore, it becomes harder and harder to wake and face another day.  Another day without the one you loved all your life and your own health fading by the minute.

I have been here since Friday afternoon.  One of my sisters will be here shortly to let me get away for awhile.  I can't stop crying.  This year has been so God-awful!!