Ok, so I am figuring some of this stuff out (finally) and BatCrap Crazy has the Memoir Monday thing going on that I kinda like. Mondays are a day when one needs a chuckle. Let's see if I can provide:
The Day I Met My Mother in Law
Hubby and I were married for about 1 1/2 years before I met my in laws. We were poor, they were poorer and lived half way across the country. My husband had been married before and had 3 kids. His mom was adamantly opposed to those children having a stepparent (she apparently had one from hell while she was growing up) and totally wanted nothing to do with me. My husbands Ex was all that she was concerned about. I have nothing negative to say about DH's ex. She's cool and we get along just fine. They were divorced before I entered the picture.
My husband was in the Air Force and we had received orders to go live in Spain for 3 years. We were going to ship a car, so we drove it across country and stopped to visit the Hubby's family. MIL worked at a shirt factory (think minimum wage in the early 80's). They knew we were coming in to visit, on what day and when.
When we arrived, MIL was still at work. We walked into the house and I was introduced to my Brother in Law, his wife, their children, my Father in Law. It was a party!! The table was set like it was Thanksgiving!!
And it was barely noon!! In June!! It all smelled marvelous. My MIL showed up shortly after we arrived and headed for the kitchen. She finished up the FEAST and put all the food on the table before she rang the proverbial dinner bell.
I was raised with impeccable dinner manners. If you didn't follow the rules, you got sent from the table. So, with that in mind, I had a little bit of everything (choking down just a couple of things) and was incredibly full. MIL kept asking if I wanted more and I tried numerous times to reassure her that I was quite satisfied and didn't need any more, but Thank You!!
Finally, she looked me square in the eye and said "Well, I don't know why you are so fat, you eat like a bird!"
I too dumbstruck to react.
We eventually worked it all out, but I will never forget that encounter as long as I live.